Look, it is time for me to confess. Yesterday, I lied. I lied to all of you. And, honestly, I lied to myself. The worst thing is that I believed that lie.
Ah, screw it. I was going to write this whole thing in Simple Simon's bloviating hack prose. But, that is more work than this comic is worth, and would mean putting more thought into the style of this one post than Furman puts in to basic content.
On my way to work this morning, I stopped by the comic shop and cancelled my sub for this book. It sucks.
I am trying really hard not to use "retard voice" when talking about this book. That has nothing to do with me respecting the most backwards ass elements of the fandom, nor Simple Simon himself. But, I know a few legitimately retarded people and feel a twinge of guilt mocking self-selected idiots by conflating them with legitimately retarded individuals.
Perhaps the last few pages are this continuity's version of "All Hail Megatron"? That'll irritate the McCarthy haters.
Nope. Some of them are actually saying "Furman did in one issue what it took McCarthy 6 to do", or stuff to that effect.
I wonder if this is the direction Simon Furman would have gone back in 1990.
I doubt it. The black and white UK stories along with "Another Time and Place" are probably a better indicator of where Furman was going. (Some of those stories strongly implied Action Masters, and the Autobots having to adapt to new technology.) And, as violent as G2 was in places, I do not thing that Hasbro would have let Furman wipe out, or even devastate, Earth as was the case here. (The changes in the comics market between '91 and '93 were staggering. I honestly do not think that G2 could have happened in '91, let alone something more violent than G2.)
My best guess was always that the Ark was going to re-crash. There were likely more guys in the stasis hold, and they would have been Action Masters along with some of the other guys who were on Cybertron. Again, that was my guess 20 years ago, and it has been influenced by other things I have read since then.
On the one hand, there's the same appeal here as there is with RID with the whole "post war Cyberton"
That is pretty well gone. And, it is a safe bet that Simple Simon is not looking to try anything new.
I dunno. I don't really know where Furman is going with this but on the face of it, it seems sloppy to not have at least checked previous issues before writing such an element into the continuing storyline. I mean, honeslty, if Furman's not going to check his facts or care about writing the issue, why should I care about reading it?
I do not see any continuity issue here. Furman is acknowledging that Unicron was defeated in issue #75, But, Unicron is cosmically awesome remember? And, he is a multiversal singularity, so he is totally coming back and it is awesome.
Unicron showing up in the first proper issue has less to do with Simple Simon not bothering to re-read his old work than it does with Simple Simon having no ideas.
I am guessing that Leadfoot is going to die next issue...just because. Leadfoot is not a "real" Wrecker and we know that Simple Simon likes to have obscure characters show up and die to prove that his "writing" is totally awesome and serious and that Simple Simon means Serious Business.
Part of me wonders if this series will end with everybody/everything getting blown up real good. And, I have to wonder how happy Simple Simon's syncophants will be about that. Simple Simon's writing seems to be stuck at that weird developmental stage where "breaking shit is awshum" (sorry could not resist). And I would wager that the people who clamoured the loudest for this book never quite got beyond that stage.
Joking aside, this really does annoy me. Simple Simon is a hack, plain and simple. He has been shamelessly riding the TF gravy train for a decade or so now. Other guys he worked with back in the old Marvel UK days have gone on to start their own companies, build other properties (or franchises in those properties) and to write other stuff. In contrast, Simple Simon barely got out of TF. And, the only thing that he is known for is TF. He stayed with TF long enough back in the 80s and 90s, and was lucky enough to have the right editor and a fan base that turned out to be regressive enough to consistenly reward bad behavior over not only years, but decades because Simple Simon had a better than average run at a time when expectations were low.
In fairness though, who can blame Simple Simon? He does have a good gig. He has a solid base of fans who will buy anything with his name on it, especially if it is GeeWun (erg, sorry, slipped). Most people, myself included, would take the easier/lazier route when given the chance. (Sloth is commonly recognized as a sin for a reason.) But, that does not change the fact that Simple Simon has no ideas and can barely write.
Yeah, I am mad. And, part of that is being mad at myself for reading this book so charitably yesterday despite it having so many obvious problems and there being no reason to have any faith in Simple Simon. I am probably stuck for another issue or 2 before my subscription is cancelled. But, I am not expecting Simple Simon to suprise me in that time.
Dom
-not supporting the hobby for the sake of supporting it.