the stupid ideas thread

[BWprowl]

Dom
-got a promotion today.

What a STUPID IDEA!!

You walked right into it.

[Dominic]

Yeah, I now have a small amount of budget control here. Weird.

Dom
-no comment on stupid ideas.

[BWprowl]

Would the thought of Bleedman introducing TFA stuff into his Cartoon Network-saturated fancomics count as a stupid idea?

Well, I've heard the term "Stupid", or rather, "Stoopid" mean "Completely fuckin' rad before, so I suppose it could...

And then there it was.

Zombie Topic, rawr!

[Dominic]

The zombie craze! Now *that* is a stupid idea.

Dom

[Gomess]

Don't get me started. It took a long phone call to convince one of my co-conspirators that "Zombie Survival Studios" is an awful name for our venture.

I HATE FADS

LIKE ANIME

>_>

[Misanthrope Prime]

I hate vampires, well, no, I hate the romantic context they're in. Vampires are supposed to be disgusting, animated, bloodsucking corpses, but along the way someone seems to have confused them with incubi/succubi.

[138 Scourge]

I like to picture vampires as basically the disgusting, really bad-smelling reanimated corpses that MP just described, but with a powerful pheremonal discharge that affects the perceptions of people around them, making for easier hunting.

That is not a stupid idea, though. That's an awesome idea. I'm way in agreement on the Anne Rice vampires being dumb ideas.

And the zombie thing. I love some zombie movies and the idea of 'em, really. But even I'm getting bored with the craze. Please note, though, when it's over, I'm still gonna love me some zombies. And werewolves, too, because they're also awesome.

[Gomess]

What I hate more than any of that romantic vampire bollocks is the idea that they're inherently SUPER STRONG.

THEY HAVE NO BLOOD OF THEIR OWN. HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU *STRONGER*?? D=<

No "They can't feel pain" arguments, plz. They can feel wondrous sparkly romantic pleasure, so.

[Dominic]

I think the sexy vampires thing comes out of the "vampires as allegory for immigration" thing. (I heard about this ~10 years back, dunno how true it is.) They can only get in if you invite them, and then they suck you dry and do terrible things to your women-folk who might seem to actually enjoy being ravished by the filthy undead.

And, hey, this brings us to polemics, which is nicely on-topic for this thread.

Dom
-hates polemics disguised as fiction.

[Misanthrope Prime]

The lack of blood raises another huge question:

How does a male vampire retain the blood pressure required for an erection?


See, in my fantasy world, vampires and liches are the same kind of undead. Liches are the classical depiction of vampires, rotting skin, gnarled claws, ratlike features, skeletal, quite visibly undead. Liches feed by injecting their prey with an enzyme that dissolves their internal organs, like a spider, and then sucks the entire slurry out through their skin-bag. They use this to regenerate their own flesh and organs, turning them into vampires (they gain mind control powers and shapeshifting in exchange for magical ability). These vampires are 'pretty', but they're also obviously fake. They're like mannequins. Their skin is rubbery and it's obvious that they're imitating life rather than actually being alive, their movements are unnatural, it's quite firmly into the uncanny valley. So far so that many people would rather fuck an orc chick than a vampiress.