Comics are Awesome II

[Dominic]

That sounds like the old "Uncanny X-Men" comics, where Psylock (and others) would recite their power-sets every issue or so. It read like crap. As bad as 90s Marvel was, they did make a concerted effort to be done with that sort of thing and tedious narration boxes. Truth be told, this is just another reason that I like it when they "write for the compilation". The comics themselves read better.

I'm not going to go out and spend money and get permits and set up a table somewhere just to ask 1000 people who the Green Lantern is, especially for the purpose of bs ing over the internet. That's ridiculous.

What permits? You could just set up a table someplace. At most, you would have to ask a property owner for permission. But, that would be easy. Now, taking the time to occupy that table and count up results, with crosstabs, to say nothing of coming up with appropriate questions would take up all kinds of time. But, the financial cost itself would be minimal. So, uh, if you are worried about money, you really do not need to be. So, who has a few spare weeks worth of time?

Has he even met Miles yet?

How did Ultimate Mysterio get to 616? Is that just...not explained?

How does Peter react to being in a different universe? Is he going to find out that, in this universe, his father built Venom and he was Carnage? That his alternate self is dead and Miles is just some other guy?

I only managed to flip through this very quickly. I will post my thoughts tomorrow. To answer your questions:

-at the end of the isue.
-dunno yet. Some stuff apparently happened though.
-there is a fun moment where Peter realizes that something is amiss. But, he may not be aware of exactly what is happening. I doubt that Bendis will waste time on minutia from the previous run of "Ultimate Spider-Man".



Mega Man #14:
Ugh. There are a few pages focused on what this arc is supposed to be about, and Quake woman's purpose in the story is pretty bluntly telegraphed. (Oh, I bet that she is going to unexpectedly show emotion....and die sacrificing herself or something. And, the doctor who built her will be sad.) Flynn spends way too much time on Doctor Wily, even if we assume that Wily's antics in this issue will be relevant to the main plot. This is Archie's last chance to impress me with "Mega Man", and so far, I am not impressed enough to stick around past issue 16.
Grade: C


Incorruptible #30:
And...the companion series to "Irredeemable" ends. It lacks the eye-roll inducing pretense of "Irredeemable", but requires that reader to know something about what happened in that series. I really wanted to like this book and "Irredeemable". Buit, truth be told, I am not sorry to see either of them end. I would probably not even bother to read a follow-up series about how the world would have been changed after the Plutonian's rampage.
Grade: C/D


Dom
-looking at a Bendis-a-thon for next time...

[BWprowl]

Before Watchmen: Silk Spectre #1
The other Before Watchmen comic written by Cooke, this one still doesn’t suck, but isn’t *quite* as good as the Minutemen one. It basically deals with Laurie’s rebellious teenage years, as she clashes with her mom (who as she and the book repeatedly remind us, was a real attention whore) and the people who look down on her because of her mom. She also ends up bonding with some guy who’s pretty much guaranteed to end up either dead or a creep by the time this mini is over (one of the caveats of prequels like this is the amount of foregone conclusions involved). It’s cool to see just how hard Laurie had been training even at this age, and how capable she was, as well as highlighting just how single-mindedly crazy Sally Jupiter was about getting her daughter to take over for her. She really doesn’t come off well here, but that’s the point, and highlights Cooke’s writing and character-defining ability. Once again the art does well replicating the original comic’s cinematic style, with a more modern spin on Watchmen courtesy of the artist this issue (Conner? Didn’t she used to draw Power Girl?), though the cartoony little imagine spots interspersed throughout feel *really* out of place (sorry, I firmly believe Watchmen should be handled a little more ‘seriously’) and kinda break up the tone of the story. The rest is a fine and interesting story though, even if it feels kind of padded out with Laurie tantrums and Sally bitchiness. I’m genuinely interested in seeing where it goes though. It doesn’t have as much of the “Oh cool!” factor of seeing the Minutemen in action in Cooke’s other book, but it seems to have more of its own identity and intent to go interesting places, so that keeps me in.

Comedian next week! I’m simultaneously excited and terrified!

Mega Man #14
Things start moving along this issue after all that setup, with enough happening that there’s less time for characterization than the last issue (Dr. Cossack notably getting little page time, though he’ll presumably have plenty to do in the later MM4 arc). Once again, the comic uses an actual debate (though less structured and with more pointedly at stake than last issue) to put forth the ideas it wants to get across, which works in terms of actually doing such a thing (which is more than I would even ask for from a Mega Man comic), but still feels kind of forced and clunky, especially with Dr. Love Interest and Original Character Do Not Steal Woman getting their obligatory “We’re going to end up illustrating the themes of this arc!” bits. At least they do a decent job of illustrating how the ‘powers’ of guys like Pharaoh Man might be useful, recognizing that Rock without his armor is almost indistinguishable from a human, and having some halfway interesting villains (okay, Angry Eyepatch Guy is pretty stock, but I quite like Mr. Mackey the laid-back terrorist and his pointed sticking to his principles). The Wily subplot with some alien(?) device resurrecting the MM2 Robot Masters (for some reason? I figured they were only going to bring back Quick Man at first because Flynn clearly has a massive hard-on for him, but then all the others were brought back too) and generating the MM3 RMs seems to mainly be happening so the plot of the next arc can kick off without too much setup, which is okay, I guess, but feels a little shoehorned into the issues of this arc. Flynn’s definitely getting over the pacing problems of previous arcs, but there’s still a disparate amount of Too Much Stuff going on here, and he needs to work on communicating themes and concepts without them reading with all the subtlety of a brick to the face.

[Onslaught Six]

If they're intending to do the MM2 Game Boy game, they'll need at least half of the MM2 Robot Masters. (Half of the MM3 masters make up the last half.) There's also the Doc Robot situation from Mega Man 3's gameplay.

[Sparky Prime]

Has he even met Miles yet?

How did Ultimate Mysterio get to 616? Is that just...not explained?

How does Peter react to being in a different universe? Is he going to find out that, in this universe, his father built Venom and he was Carnage? That his alternate self is dead and Miles is just some other guy?

The very last page of the issue Peter and Miles see each other and stop on a roof top to talk.

They don't explain how Ultimate Mysterio ended up in the 616 universe. Peter doesn't even realize he isn't the 616 Mysterio.

At first he thinks it might just be an illusion created by Mysterio but right away he notices some differences, like the SHIELD Triskelion building that doesn't exist in the 616 universe. He doesn't seem to really know what's happened to him yet. Later on, he stops a mugging and the guy he saves tells him the costume is in bad taste due to Peter Parker's death, which obviously stuns Peter.

I prefer explaining who characters are repeatedly--especially if it's in narration boxes (What? I like narration boxes!)--because then I don't have to look at a comic panel of a guy I don't recognize and have to go to Wikipedia to figure it out. Because, back in the day, there 'was' no Wikipedia, so if a comic did that, you just didn't know who the guy was.

I wouldn't mind it... If we hadn't seen the character in a while. But he was in the last 4 or 5 issues where in each issue they talk about how he was a failed Red Lantern prototype that Atrocitus tried to bury and forget... Even Abysmus' own minions were tired of hearing about it an issue or two ago. I just think they're overdoing it by re-explaining who the character is in every issue.

[Dominic]

Avengers #27:
Dunno why I bothered. There is a bit more set-up for the upcoming "Captain Marvel" book. No-Var is apparently killed off this issue to clear the stage for Carol Danvers to take the name/mantle of Marvel. One thing that I found amusing is how quickly Beast and the other Avengers turned on No-Var (sp?) for his betraying the team. Keep in mind that this is part of the same story that is probably going to involved the Scarlet Witch being welcomed back by everybody (after already being welcomed back by the Avengers) after she flipped out and killed half the Avengers and de-powered (in some cases crippling or killing) most of the world's mutant population. Ah, event comics at their finest.
Grade: D

Avengers Assemble #4:
More of the same filler. Thanos shows up. There is a dust-up. Hulk is turned against the Avengers for a few pages. The helicarrier goes kablamo. The dust settles. Hulk is cool again. The Avengers all land conveniently near each other after the helicarrier goes kablooey. The Guardians of the Galaxy show up. That about sums it up.
Grade: C

Spider-Men #1:
This issue focuses almost exclusively on 616 Peter Parker. After a typical outing of fighting crime, (made all the more readable by Bendis), Parker finds himself fighting Ultimate Mysterio and (somehow or another getting pulled in to the Ultimate universe. After some obligatory (and chuckle-worthy) confusion, Parker (in spider-garb) is meets Miles Morales (alsto in costume).

As a cross-over, this is somewhat unbalanced, with almost the entirety of the book being given over to 616 Parker and Morales only showing up on the last page. But, it objectively makes sense for Marvel to front-load this book with the iconic character, even if we pretend that this summer's "Spider-Man" movie was not a factor in Marvel's decision to release this series. My only real complaint so far is that the cover art of issue one makes Miles Morales (who is maybe 14 at most) look like he is more or less grown.

There is no apparent high-concept yet. But, Bendis manages to keep a "stuff what happens" book readable.
Grade: B/C


Dom
-no new comics this week? Time to play catch-up.

[Sparky Prime]

My only real complaint so far is that the cover art of issue one makes Miles Morales (who is maybe 14 at most) look like he is more or less grown.

I think Marvel has established he's supposed to be 13, just starting middle school. He does look somewhat older than that on this cover though.

Sparky
-Had another person randomly recognize my Green Lantern ring today.

[BWprowl]

Before Watchmen: Comedian #1

Well they can’t all be winners, and unfortunately, the first loser just happens to be based on the Watchmen character I really like.

It’s not just an issue of missing the point of the character, though Azarello does that. Things are okay at the beginning, we see Eddie bro’ing it up with the Kennedys, working his way in with them as a way of explaining the Washington connections we know he had later, and even carrying out a hit on behalf of Jackie as per such things. Those are just the opening pages though, and things slide downhill from there. Who wants to read pages of Eddie and JFK betting on sports, acting chummy and genuinely friendly? Then we get to see Eddie quickly talked into a blatant scam by the government, so he can charge in guns-blazing on an off-model Moloch! And then, the really, really stupid part of this issue kicks in, as it mines the effin’ Kennedy assassination for pathos as a ‘plot twist’, complete with Moloch and the friggin’ Comedian stopping their confrontation to cry and drown their sorrows and comfort each other. Jesus. You remember that cheap, shameless 9/11 comic Marvel put out a while back, with Dr. Doom being sad at the ‘true evil’ in the world? This comes across like that, but even stupider since the Kennedy assassination isn’t even a contemporary event to provide commentary on; it’s like some freaky fucked-up tragedy nostalgia they’re banking on. They even seem to have used screecaps of the actual news broadcast about JFK’s death, for fuck’s sake. And they show Edward Blake, the goddamn Comedian, he who eschews relationships in favor of connections, who sees not the bright side of everything, but the funny, twisted side of everything, they show him getting sappy and torn up by this, comforting the super-villain he was minutes away from shooting over it. Reviewing: This piece of crap misses the point of a unique and well-defined character from a classic work horribly badly, and attempts to mine an emotional response out of referencing a well-worn historical tragedy.

Oh, and it’s technically awful too. Unlike the characteristically stylized art used to original-similar cinematic effect in Minutemen and Silk Spectre, this piece just has ‘standard’ comic art, with most characters feeling generic and difficult to tell apart, INCLUDING the goddamn Kennedys, which really shouldn’t be an issue. Also, Azarello is apparently trying to write ‘realistic’ dialogue with characters speaking between each other or however you want to describe it, but it just makes the dialogue jumbled, repetitive, and hard to comprehend at first pass.

All these Before Watchmen things were on thin ice with me to begin with just as a concept, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt after admitting that I’ve been proven wrong before. Well this one is dropped like a diseased sack of hammers after this abysmal, insulting first issue. In fact, I may just pirate the thing just to continue to have something to rip on, and to stick it to Azarello for sucking so bad.

Oh, and this is also the guy writing the Rorschach series. Good luck with that one, kiddies!

Fuck.

[Dominic]

Oh my god. That sounds so awesome. I have to buy it, money shortage this week be damned.

Seriously, my cat is recovering from surgery at the moment, and I was going to count my blessings about not having any new comics this week,. But, damn, I cannot resist me a train wreck.

Who wants to read pages of Eddie and JFK betting on sports, acting chummy and genuinely friendly?

Oh man, as soon as you said "Kennedy", I smelled trouble! Oh, boy, did I ever!

o he can charge in guns-blazing on an off-model Moloch!

How, oh how, do they fuck this stuff up? In ~25 years, "Watchmen" has had 2 relevant permutations, only one of which is binding here. How the hell do they screw up character models? How did they think they could get away with it? I am not even a fan of "Watchmen" and this is offensive. They could not pull (widely available) reference art?

They even seem to have used screecaps of the actual news broadcast about JFK’s death, for fuck’s sake. And they show Edward Blake, the goddamn Comedian, he who eschews relationships in favor of connections, who sees not the bright side of everything, but the funny, twisted side of everything, they show him getting sappy and torn up by this, comforting the super-villain he was minutes away from shooting over it.

Ah, I more or less saw this coming.

This is awesome. Or, more properly, AWSHUM. Damn, I cannot wait to see what they do with Nixon!

If ever there were a reason for the Secret Service to be on the ball, it is to prevent this sort of thing. If they screw up, the doom generations to endless conspiracy theories and shabby attempts at poignancy in fiction by writers who lack the talent to produce something legitimately good.

Jesus. You remember that cheap, shameless 9/11 comic Marvel put out a while back, with Dr. Doom being sad at the ‘true evil’ in the world?

Joking aside, I will disagree with you on this point. I would be hard pressed to find anything as utterly tasteless as that. (Truth be told, it still makes me second guess the hobby in general, and buying Marvel comics in particular.)

That comic cheapened the real loss of life and demonstrated nothing but our willingness to be ignorant about the real losses of blood, treasure and national standing that day. The fact that it made no sense in the context of a comic book pales in comparison to the complete lack of maturity and insight on Marvel's part.

The attacks in 2001 were a decade, possibly century, defining cataclysm. The Kennedy killing was a burp.


Dom
-getting the cat back Saturday.

[Shockwave]

Completely off topic, Dom, glad to hear Sherman is doing well. Like the pic you sent, he's cute.

[Dominic]

Yeah, Sherman is doing well. Thanks for the well wishes. He has actually been more affectionate since he came home last Saturday.


Spider-Men #2:
1610 (Ultimate) Mysterio explicates a bit. Apparently, he just wanted to find a new dimension to conquer or something. I dunno. It really does not matter. (I am going to assume that "1610" is a deliberate bastardization of "regular" Marvel's "616" number.) The real meat of the this issue is the conversation and obligatory confrontation between Parker and Morales. Bendis handles the first rule of "hero v/s hero" well enough, with both characters getting a chance to shine during the fight, and readers getting a sense of both characters during the fight. I get the feeling that most of next issue is going to be dominated by a banter-heavy fitht, with issue 4 being when 616 Parker deals with the fact that his 1610 self is dead. Pichelli's internal art is friggin' amazing, while Cheung's covers are....lacking. I am going to give Cheung the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is drawing Morales so badly due to some editorial mandate or another. It is not as good as "All New Spider-Man", but it is pretty good.
Grade: B

Cobra #9-#11:
And, with this, I pass the last 2 milestones to being caught up with this book short of actually being fully caught up. These are the last 3 issues that I bought before switching comic stores back in March and they are first 3 of my own personal "single issue only" run, as I have no desire to buy IDW's threaded compilations. (Again, it is objectively a good idea for them to reprint the "GI Joe" books that way. But, I am not in for Dixon's contributions, so it does not work for me.) It is a credit to Costa's ability that these three issues read as coherently as they do despite being every third chapter of the "Cobra Command" arc . These issues focus on the new Commander's attempts to solidify his power base and various power games in Cobra's command structure. Throwaway lines of dialogue (and an apparently shoe-horned scene featuring Snake-Eyes) fill in the gaps about what happened in Dixon's chapters.
Grade: A/B

Age of Apocalypse #2:
I really want to like this book. DC's "Earth 2" book has me on a "What If?" kick. This is an ongoing book set in an alternatie timeline that (aside from the obligatory POV character being from the "regular" setting) avoids most of the cliches about alternate timeline stories. But, the execution falls pretty flat. Lapham just coasts along from one scene to the next. At one point, it appears that Wolverine has read the script, because he just knows that the prisoner is female despite nobody having specified it for him. Jean Grey's character model makes me feel like I should be reviewing this in Anderson's "retro comics" thread, as it looks like a throwback to the bad girl art era. (Seriously, it was a bad idea then, and it makes even less sense now. Who thought it was a good idea?) I am going to give this one or two more issues before I just give up.
Grade: C/D

Dom
-slowly catching up...