The Low Road
written by Bob Forward
on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtjUlp-3K78
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVrNMREk ... re=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P3ZACNx ... re=related
The Low Road a.k.a. Rhinox has farting sickness! This here is something quite special. I've seen some die-hard Beasties fans cite this episode as the low mark of the show; the episode that makes them cover their faces in shame. Basically what we have is 22 solid minutes building up to a fart joke... and that's it! Oh sure, there's a sub-plot here and there and other funny bits tossed in, but make no mistake; the first 21 minutes are meant to get us to the fart joke in the 22nd minute.
It all starts with Rattrap and Dinobot outside the Axalon and weeding out the jungle of vines that have sprung up. One minute into the show and we get our first close-up of a butt; Dinobutt's butt and it is the target of Rattrap's scheming ways. The rat tags Dinobutt in the butt with a wild bean and knocks him over. Did you hear that? Knocks him over by batting a bean at him! Oh snap, it's on! Dinobot screams bloody murder and tackles Rattrap- claws and sword out! The Maximals inside the base detect some Preds closing in nearby and order the squabbling pair back inside. No good. They're too preoccupied. Rhinox heads out to wrangle them up and starts blasting away with the chainguns of doom (at the Preds, not them). He's standing in a mountain of spent shells and it's just awesome. Suddenly! Rhinox is tagged in the face by a crazy face-hugger virus thing that Tarantulus shoots at him! It's got a popoid container full of nasty virus juice and pumps it all into his big rhino body.
The battle's over and now the Maximals have to figure out what to do with Rhinox. The virus causes him to start hiccuping energon right out of his body, rapidly depleting his body of life-giving fuel. Aww, see that? They tried to make it sound serious and life-threatening... which it is. But he's hiccuping and soon... soon it will lead to the farting. Just you watch.
Primal is none to happy that Dinobot and Rattrap's infighting indirectly caused the current situation, so he sends them out together to track down Tarantulus and get the counter-virus.
And they're off, squabbling the entire way about whose fault it is. It doesn't take them long to hone in and Tarantulus' stench (though Rattrap's limburger lunch didn't help any). They give chase after the fleeing spider but suddenly he's just gone. Gone! They realize too late that they're standing on top of a trap door in the ground and are sent careening down a spiraling slide. I swear, every time I watch this part it reminds me of The Addams Family movie where Gomez and Fester go tumbling down the slide. I keep hearing that music... Anyway, Rattrap smacks into a stalactite and completely breaks it off from the ceiling... causing more rumblings...
They hit bottom and find themselves at one of the many entrances to Tarantulus' lair. The crazed spider himself makes his appearance just in time to hear the rumbling of a giant boulder coming down the slide after the Maxis. He doesn't stand a chance and gets flattened. Um... counter-virus? No problem. Just drag his comatose body along while they search the caverns.
Sub-plot time! The Maximals at the Axalon have decided that they need to go out themselves to try and retrieve the counter-virus. They've lost contact with Dinobot and Rattrap and Rhinox keeps getting weaker by the moment. They're about to head out when Rhinox comes stumbling off the elevator too. Guy's got spirit. Even in his weakened state he figures he can put his explosive hiccups to good use. Primal suggests he eat some wild beans first to help keep his energy up. The thing is about those wild beans- they're so good! Rhinox eats the beans and then more beans and then more! Oh yes. There's only one way this situation's getting resolved.
Meanwhile the Predacons have all arrived in Tarantulus' lair in search of more virus juice. Megatron wants some more ready to go right away. Blackarachnia finds the counter-virus, and decides to just destroy it. NO!!! Megatron stops her, claiming that it would be better if they had a bargaining chip just in case. Just about that time the computer alarms go off, having detected Rattrap and Dinobot dragging Tarantulus in a nearby tunnel.
And in the tunnel- the odd couple are bickering again. Some might call it a lover's spat. Yeah, you know they're just big softies at heart! Their fight escalates and unbeknownst to them... Tarantulus revives. He jumps up to surprise them but they're hardly in the mood. They both clock him with a double-fisted sandwich! YEAH! Down you go! Moving on. They come near the entrance to Tarantulus' lair but Dinobot's feeling suspicious. He tosses a rock and it is summarily destroyed by a HAIL of laser blasts! Holy snapple crackle! Time for a new plan.
Dinobot goes in with Tarantulus as his hostage while Rattrap sneaks into the ventilation below. The hostage trick doesn't work. Megs just blasts Tarry away. Nice guy. Always looking out for his comrades like that. Rattrap busts out of the vents behind the Preds and shoots away all their weapons. Now the tables have turned again! And just then... the sound of someone getting ready for a big sneeze... THE WALL EXPLODES AND SENDS SCORPONOK FLYING! Rhinox sneezing destroyed the wall! That's some serious power there. Love the super not-quite-heroic pose the Maximals all make with AirRazor hanging off Primal's leg and Rhinox over there sniffling and wiping his nose. Hm... now there's an interesting pairing; the two Maximal fliers together. Hm... I always liked how she interacted with Primal more than Tigatron anyway. Keep on flying those friendly skies, you two!
*ahem* So the Maximals think they've got it all wrapped up, but that's when Megatron busts out the counter-virus. Ah, yes. It does pay to have a bargaining chip. I love these little moments when he tutors Blackarachnia on strategy and tactics. It's cute. Guess he couldn't stay mad at her after that whole fiasco with Starscream last episode. He demands the Maximals surrender and they pretty much do. Except poor Rhinox's stomach is grumbling mighty fierce. Those wild bean vines... hard to digest. He starts lurching, turning around.
Megatron: "Do NOT turn your back on me!"
Hehe. It's cute that they even gave him some dialogue to make it sound like he just didn't realize what was coming. The other Preds do. You can clearly see them inching away from Megatron as Rhinox takes aim. *checks the clock- 21 minutes and counting... the timer rolls over to 22*
A sudden realization comes over Megs and he screams, "No.. N-not that! AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
KRAKKA-THOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
The entire earth shakes from the atomic fart. Oh my gawd that was epic. Rattrap recovers the counter-virus and they're off to home. A bit later Rhinox has the counter-virus capsule strapped to his head like a baseball beer cap and sucking down the drink. The place is all tore up, but they can't help but be happy that their big buddy is okay.
And elsewhere- the Predacons are all hanging limp in a scorched-black tree. Megatron mutters how this has got to be the most humiliating defeat of his entire career, "ye-e-e-e-e-s." Hehehe. And now I'm trying to think if there's anything else that comes close. Atomic fart vs.... ?
There you go, people! This one is done! Just a great, silly episode. If you don't like it, then you've probably never farted in your life.
Next up: Law of the Jungle
Judge Dredd: "I am the Law!"
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